So I was stroking my ego and typing in my moniker Poeticlyskuac and boy is there a shit load of info out there. When I was looking around I seen a forum post put up in article form on another website, since it's an old (11-8-2010) as hell post I figured I'd post it up. Keep in mind this post is off of a thread that I started that is now at 38k hits, a lot for that forum, perhaps not a lot to others.
I am working on a confidence email boot camp for folks, Now Available: My True Core Self-Confidence and Happiness Program - This 21 Lesson Program is dedicated to instilling all these same concepts plus much more in yourself. This article goes over some of the tactics that are included in building your confidence in the email boot camp should you choose to donate, plus it gives you a clue as to what you can be when you become confident. I understand A LOT more about confidence and have much stronger and actual True Core Confidence now. I have become more confident that this far and away. My ideals about self and confidence have been reformed to way better than at the time I wrote this post.
Some of these tactics like the compliment area (giving and receiving) I have improved upon of course. I've developed quite a bit into understanding a lot more since then about confidence...which if you would be so kind as to donate when it comes out will include a lot more updated tips (though very similar) but will include far more-
20 21 total lessons.
Note: While the confidence boot camp may seem as if it is talking to men, the tactics will work on men or women. They are human orientated not sexually orientated.
Peace and Love
Every once in a while you come across a guy that is “The Man”. Every where he walks people seem to know him. It appears as though he owns every place he visits. He owns this Charisma that is indescribable, his style and interaction with you is quite memorable. He leaves you feeling good. His Presence seems to be understood every where he goes. His Body Language speaks Confidence, it shows Confidence in every sense of the word. How he stands, how he sits, how he laughs. He is always smiling and witty in his interaction with you, giving you both permission to laugh and smile. His inner game is unquestionably strong and you just in some ways want to meet him. He can effortlessly join a conversation, and then be invited into the conversation.
This is something we have a very difficult time becoming. Something few of us think it is possible. Some believe that you are born with it or you aren’t. That is absolutely not true, these guys weren’t born popular. They gained some personality traits through out life for what ever reason but that does not mean they can’t add more traits to themselves. Anyone can become “The Man”. It takes effort and commitment, this is something where you may be a little further ahead because you own certain personality traits. In fact everyone owns more than a few traits that could help you become “The Man”.
Who do you know that seems to be “The Man”? What are they like? When you go to a club or a bar do you see a guy that seemed to consume a area? His presence unavoidable to notice.
Charisma is something we think when we think of someone who is “the Man” is some one who has Charisma. They have this divine gift of persuasion and influence over most people. Clinton & Obama are guys that have amazing Charisma. They used it to get elected. They caught you and brought you in and made you feel good some how.
Both gentleman had rhythmic speaking with their tone. They had a powerful presence even before they were thought about for president. They build a comfort level and make you feel good even without ever meeting them. Charisma is a word we use that is really difficult to describe, but you always know when someone has it.
It seems as though you are the only two when you are talking. You seem to build Rapport and Comfort with them effortlessly. They are Witty and Funny. They just leave you feeling good. A bad person can have some serious Charisma unfortunately. I mean think about how many terrible people had great Charisma. Manson was considered quite Charismatic which to me is unbelievable.
They seem to be Different. They look for reasons to have individuality. They Demonstrate Value easily and with just their appearance. They differentiate you, they make you feel comfortable, and they appear to make you feel like you are the most important person in the room. We will get into many tactics on how to influence and and do all of these things.
I don’t think you can progress far with out gaining inner game so this will be where I start. In order for you to gain anything you have to gain Inner Game. In order for you to keep that Body Language and Presence everywhere you go you must be able to have Confidence.
Write down every compliment you have ever heard. Read them every day. Every time you get a compliment write it down.
People who have Charisma make everyone feel good. Handing other people compliments helps, I recommend complimenting accessories, style, or character(not looks). It makes you more confident if you can endorse the strengths of others. Always remember if you make everyone around you feel good than it is easier for you to feel good and confident. Part of charisma is accepting your humiliation while making everyone feel good. Every insult I get I blow out of proportion while accepting them and laughing at it in front and at the person. Life is truly funny, remember “don’t take life so seriously you will never get out of it alive“.
This is one of my favorites. Write down 100 things you like or love about your self or as many as you can, whether it is your hair, smile, laugh, eyes, knowledge, friends, family, intelligence, sense of humor, add more every day and read them every day. When you do these types of things like focus on how great you are rather than your negatives it will lift your confidence tremendously. I would say that it is very simple just find out what you like/love about yourself and expand it. You may not realize how great a person you are until you expect yourself to be great through what you love of yourself.
These things can make you confident in a hurry because when you read all the compliments you have been given it gives you validation. When you read all the things you love about yourself it will become ingrained in your mind. You are this guy other people have said it about and you are this guy who loves a lot about yourself.
I actually wrote it across my mirror, every time I see me, I see a guy who has compliments written all over him. Things I love about me, things said about me.
Confidence is about nothing more than self love. Comfortable with who you are and love who you are. Every where you go you should say I am “The Man” . Visualizing exercises are very good, every day when you wake up see who you want to be. Every time you go to sleep doze off thinking of being “The Man“. Through out the day think of yourself as “The Man“. Soon enough you will be him. There are some good NLP tactics to helping change your mind about yourself.
What I want you to do is go lay down and think of this, this can and should be done absolutely everyday.
I want you to imagine you go into a room a smooth room where you can see beautiful women. Great entertainment, I mean everything is how you want it. The tables are in perfect position and the mood is perfect. Then you see this You, he is Confident, he has Presence, he has Style, he has Witt, he is “The Man“. People all around him enjoying his presence and women are sending him signals from everywhere. This confident You is chatting with beautiful women. You picture him dressed right. Now you walk toward him. Now you walk up behind him unnoticed, you listen in on him and how confidently he speaks. Does he look Witty and Happy? Now you step up behind him and walk inside of this confident you. What is it like to be this Confident You? How does it feel in your shoulders? How does it feel to have these confident wide shoulders? How high is your head? Does your chin feel stable and parallel with the ground? Your body movement is welcoming and Alpha. How wide is that stance? Doesn’t that dominant Alpha stance feel good. How do your arms feel? Do they swing welcoming and confident? How does it feel to be able to Smile at everything? Does it feel amazing, great, or maybe even phenomenal? How does it feel when you talk? What is your tone like? Is it rhythmic and smooth? Unthreatening and Comforting? You can feel this way when ever you want because it truly is you. So now you know what it is like to be “The Man”. Every single night you should repeat this for the next 3 weeks, it would do even more good to do this forever. And every day through out the day imagine you are this guy and hold yourself that way.
These are tactics I have used to build my confidence there are tons of books on the subject and I recommend you find one that suits yourself. But this is something that can give you a lot of confidence and you should definitely use it. Look for other tactics to build your Confidence. It is always good to use all sorts of different tactics to help you realize NOBODY IS BETTER THAN YOU. YOU ARE AS GOOD AS ANYONE IN THIS WORLD. Girls would be lucky to gain someone with your personality traits is the realization you are adopting now. Do not adopt the attitude you are better than anyone but that You are as good as anyone.
I think this one of the greatest ways to build confidence. There is a lot to come to terms with about yourself, the majority of us focus on our flaws, we don’t realize how much we have going for us. Every person is unique and has something interesting about them. Every person has lots of great qualities. It doesn’t mean that you aren’t as good as someone with what ever advantage. A lot of time we focus on our flaws, most of us focus on our physical attributes, in reality people(men and women) would rather have the company of a fun ugly person than a obnoxious good looking person. Our physical attributes mean very little to our company after thirty seconds, it is our character that will make the moment, the things that makes us interesting that make us fun. Don’t take this to mean you shouldn’t dress well or groom yourself, both of those things will give you even more confidence, your presentation of yourself is very important.
I give away a lot of compliments every day(to men and women) and working in grocery I see a lot of people, I receive just as many or more compliments. Just make sure you don’t compliment their physical attributes like everyone else does, their shirt, skirt, bracelet, glasses(this one is huge), necklace, dress, shoes, hair, things that are choices that they make, parts of their personality and presentation. I’d recommend finding ways to compliment others so it sounds witty and less generic. I like, that is cool, sweet, etc. I love works more often than any of the generalities.
Those are smooth ground grippers(kicks, floor lovers, etc. rather than shoes).
That is a slick necklace.
Quality decision on selecting those earrings.
Your threads are nasty smooth.
That was a good moment when you selected those glasses.
I give a lot of compliments that are stunning but will make them turn red rather than blow you off. A lot of people talk about negs, but I don’t neg as hard, I am rather playful. It is the way I say my compliments that make me different it also helps you do back handed compliments easier. It is always good when everyone feels good around you, you also naturally become the Alphas, your comfortable and everyone is comfortable. Complimenting Alphas works very well in disarming them, they like you now, you endorse their strengths and play cool while at the same time show it doesn’t mean much, your not scared of their best feature.
When you compliment someone it shouldn’t be a big deal, there is a lot to be said about a great compliment. I have never been shut down for saying your earrings are smooth. Those are some smooth ground grippers. Look at you little mama togged out to the bricks. They just need to realize you give everyone compliments it is not a big deal.
Remember the more compliments you will send out the more you will receive. I compliment a necklace half the time I get a compliment back on mine, I wear an Aztec calendar medallion every where I go.
To me this is the biggest part of getting confidence is giving compliments, because you receive so many in return. It is important however to be able to just say thank you, that is very nice of you, remember you will be getting compliments all the time. Receiving compliments should make you happy but as a confident human you know that about your self, they just gave you some validation. Just because someone gives you a compliment doesn’t mean you owe them one. A confident person knows how to receive a compliment
I have got some ridiculous compliments ones that have literally scared the hell out of me. One lady told me(more than one has said something similar) when ever I am having a bad day if your here and I come in you make me feel better automatically. That to me was almost like pressure to be that guy, who I didn’t try to be. Another one said everyone in the store can be happier when you are here. I get compliments every day, some of them are so tremendous both of those struck me as the best I have ever received. Compliments on other things are awesome but I mean that is to me the best compliment you can ever receive, that is saying you are a tremendous human being, and what person shouldn’t enjoy your company? What girl wouldn’t be lucky to date a guy that is like that? How could that not boost your confidence? All because I consistently hand out compliments, what you give is what you will receive.
Someone who has charisma makes people around them feel good, show they are human just like them. A charismatic person is always on level with the person/people they are talking to, they are never better.
Sorry but to me handing compliments out is more important than the rest of the things I said because you receive validation from everyone around you. The fact that you did the other things helps reinforce all of those things. You inscribed all those compliments, you inscribed everything you like/love about yourself, you reconfirm all of this when you read it.
Thanks for re-reading this old post!
Peace and Love,
Remember: Now Available is My True Core Self-Confidence and Happiness Program - This Program is dedicated to instilling all these same concepts plus much more in yourself.