IOI or Indicator of Interest is basically how men in the pick-up community spot attraction. When it comes to the pick-up community things get said along the lines of assume the attraction or she did this she is definitely interested. When it comes to body language you can’t simplify it down to one signal means attraction. That is the problem with IOIs you have all these moments where you could certainly read a situation as attraction or you have all these moments where you can read a woman as unattracted but she is.
When you read body language you need to take into consideration all of The Guidelines of Reading Body Language, this is the problem with reading IOIs is they never really talk about how things change in different situations, always pay attention to the context of the signal. Seriously is she preening or is her hair just in her eyes? Is she touching you because she wants to or is she touching because it’s crowded? It seriously has to be one of my biggest pet peeves, why the fuck do you say “oh she made eye contact she is attracted”? Or she talked to you she is attracted. There is no one size fits all when it comes to attraction.
Clusters are also huge when it comes to reading body language. You don’t just look at one signal and assume something. Just because someone is flipping you off doesn’t mean it’s negative. Though we often assume it is.
Some women don’t preen at all, instead they use pacifying behaviors when they are attracted. Some women touch every guy but the guy they are attracted to (rare but wouldn’t be unusual). We all have our own personal behaviors (idiosyncratic behaviors) and it is very important that you baseline her behaviors in order to read her correctly.
You want her behaviors to be consistent; they should be consistently showing attraction. You don’t want to make an analysis off of her first impression; you want to base your analysis off of her consistent body language. She may have liked you 2 minutes ago but then you stated your opinion on something, now she doesn’t like you.
Congruency falls along the same lines as consistent behaviors because the behaviors need to be congruent. They need to all agree and be in alignment, a common part of lie detection is looking for incongruent behaviors with words or the situation.
Timing is very important when it comes to behavior you want to make sure her behavior matches the right timing if you want to look for attraction. If a woman is talking to you then looks at another guy making eye contact and preens her signal isn’t directed at you, the timing of her attraction cluster is for the guy she just looked at then you. Timing is very important when it comes to reading body language.
Culture is also very important to take into consideration as well, different cultures practice different behaviors. Gestures unlike facial expression (universal) are a learned behavior. Make sure you take culture into consideration when reading the body language of anyone.
Here is the first episode going over the first 5 Weeks(the next 4)
Class is in session lol.
I tend to see the same things when I’m out case in point last night. There were a few girls who came up to me leaning in and smiling giving me good eye contact and asking my name. I didn’t take it as attraction until I saw a few of them repeat the same behavior again.
One girl named Nikki too which was very adorable. Asked to buy me a beer to which I decline because I was working too. Even offered to fetch me water. Whenever she’d address me it was always a touch on the shoulders and arms followed by a lean, smile and good eye contact. Now, with those clusters I would say that’s attraction but I was bouncing and didn’t even have enough time to access the situation.
What are your thoughts?
Posted by ajonespua | 05/05/2012, 5:43 pmLOL Yeah, for sures. You look around the net and no one has a decent show on attraction and reading it. Most people seem to have a good idea anyways, plus it’ll help all the good guys out there realize she is attracted you just need to do something about it.
Yeah she definitely sounds attracted.
Her offering to go get you drinks and to go get you waters are both good actions, not because of the water or beer, but because she wants to do something for you and she wants to come back to see you. If you would have said yes to the water she would have liked you more, we are more attracted to people we do favors for, sounds funny but it’s true.
Distance and touch are usually but not always signs of attraction, some women are just kinesthetic and just touchy feely. We move toward what we are attracted to, same as a sexual overture. A woman will go stand close to a guy she is attracted to, get as close as possible. She will touch because she wants to get close. How did she interact with other men, touch and distance wise?
Our torso is very subconscious, it reacts 1 of 3 ways. One way is to lean away so that you can get away from someone you aren’t attracted to. A second way it to just stay neutral which is just ok and comfortable with the situation. The third is we are like magnets pulled towards what we are most attracted to, she leaned toward what she was most attracted to, YOU.
Eye contact is very key in courtship I did that video you seen a while back on it, the more eye contact you have the better. You look at what you are most attracted to again that was you.
Was there any preens (appearance adjustments)?
Slightly turned head, for submissive signals and throat exposure?
When I think of clusters I think of them all happening in a very short period of time(like 2-3 seconds) her behaviors was very consistent and that is why you can draw a conclusion she is attracted.
Clusters are like eye contact + foot pointing at you + hair preen + smile + turned head + torso lean = message These type of messages are literally all happening at once. This is what I mean by not reading one signal at a time.
Posted by The Science of Natural Game | 05/05/2012, 8:29 pmShe had no preens since her hair was tied up in like a reverse braided hair style. She came up to introduce herself to me first, when she shook my hand it was eye contact, smile and a lean in involved.
When I watched her with her friends (2 guys and 1 other girl) She didn’t seem affectionate towards either of them. I couldn’t decide if one of them was her boyfriend or NOT since I was checking IDs. I just remembered the IOIs, but she did come say goodbye to me before she left, I didn’t stop her from leaving I just didn’t feel I should since I might see her again.
Posted by ajonespua | 07/05/2012, 3:12 amPreens aren’t limited to hair adjustments, they include jewelry, shirt straightening, clothes smoothing, you basically are looking for any adjustment in her appearance. This weeks videos are on preens but you can also read that preen blog I wrote.
When it comes to noticing a relationship you look for more affection(reciprocated), holding personal possessions(purse, wallet), hand touching, distance, eye contact, and torso. Mirroring also happens as well.
I’d say she is definitely interested, she’ll be back around.
Posted by The Science of Natural Game | 07/05/2012, 4:33 amYeah, I think so. What I don’t like is when a girl has her hair up I have problems recognizing them when it’s down lol. I hate THAT!!!!!
Posted by ajonespua | 07/05/2012, 1:17 pmI’ll be posting up videos all week long on preening, today I’m putting up one on hair. At the end of the week I’ll have like a 15 or so minute video on preening(not sure how long, all the editing isn’t done).
By the end of the week when it comes to preening you’ll see the world in an entirely different manner. You’ll recognize attraction without thought, and you’ll know your feeling about her being attraction is right.
Posted by The Science of Natural Game | 07/05/2012, 2:26 pm